Chapter 9 - A Father in the Hallway
I returned to Chicago with the twins after the press cycle calmed enough that security no longer resembled a military operation. Luca met us at my building but waited downstairs until I texted permission. That small act mattered. We had spent years in a marriage where both of us assumed love entitled us to access. Now every healthy step seemed to begin with asking.
He looked exhausted when he entered.
“What did Keane say?” I asked.
“The full report showed temporary male-factor infertility. Possibly stress-related, possibly hormonal. It was treatable. My mother paid him to emphasize your least favorable markers and minimize mine.”
I stared.
“Why?”
“Because if I believed the problem was me, she thought I would pursue treatment forever.”
“And if you believed it was me…”
“I might leave.”
The cruelty of it was surgical.
“She knew you loved me.”
“Yes.”
“And used your desire for children against you.”
“Yes.”
I sat down.
Luca remained standing.
“I need to say something.”
“You’ve been saying a lot lately.”
“I blamed you.”
“You never said it.”
“I know. That made it worse.”
I looked at him.
He continued.
“I let disappointment become distance. I let my mother’s insinuations become my assumptions. I never asked whether the doctor could be wrong because believing him gave me somewhere to put my fear.”
My eyes filled.
“And I put it on you.”
I looked away.
“I’m sorry.”
The apology I wanted six years earlier finally arrived when I no longer needed it to survive.
“That matters,” I said.
“But?”
“It doesn’t erase anything.”
“I know.”
“No, Luca. I need you to really know that.”
“I do.”
“I loved you when you left.”
His face tightened.
“I loved you for months afterward.”
“Nia.”
“I hated myself for it.”
He sat across from me.
“I loved you too.”
I stared.
“What?”
His eyes met mine.
“I never stopped.”
Anger rose so quickly I stood.
“Do not say that.”
“It’s true.”
“You told me you didn’t love me.”
“I lied.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought love was making us both miserable.”
“That is not an answer.”
“I was a coward.”
“At least that’s honest.”
He flinched.
I paced toward the window.
“You do not get to romanticize abandonment now. You don’t get to say you loved me as if that makes what happened tragic instead of cruel.”
“I’m not.”
“It sounds like you are.”
“I thought if I said something irreversible, you would leave before I changed my mind.”
I turned.
“You wanted me to leave?”
“I wanted the pain to stop.”
“So you gave it to me.”
“Yes.”
Silence.
Then Lily screamed from the hallway.
We both ran.
She was sitting on the floor near her bedroom clutching her ankle. She had jumped from the second stair while pretending to be a gymnast and landed badly. Within minutes the ankle swelled.
At urgent care, the X-ray showed a small fracture.
Nothing dangerous.
But Lily was terrified.
The doctor needed to immobilize it.
She grabbed my hand.
Then, unexpectedly, reached for Luca’s.
He froze.
“Stay,” she said.
His eyes filled.
“I’m right here.”
She squeezed both our hands while the doctor worked.
Afterward, Luca carried her to the car.
“I’m heavy,” she said.
“You weigh less than one of my briefcases.”
“That’s rude.”
“I meant my old briefcases were heavy.”
“Still rude.”
He smiled.
Theo waited at home with Jana, who had driven down to help. When he saw Lily’s cast, he immediately asked whether he could sign it.
“No,” she said.
“Why?”
“You draw ugly.”
Sibling compassion remained intact.
Luca stayed until bedtime.
He helped Theo with math homework and nearly ruined it by teaching him shortcuts the school hadn’t introduced yet.
“You’re confusing him,” I said.
“I’m improving the curriculum.”
“Leave education alone.”
“You wound me.”
When Luca prepared to go, Lily called from her room.
“Dad?”
Everything stopped.
He turned slowly.
She had never called him that before.
“Yeah?”
“Can you come tomorrow?”
He looked at me.
I nodded.
“Yes,” he said. “I can.”
“Okay.”
He walked out into the hallway and stood there with his back to me for several seconds.
“Luca?”
He wiped his face before turning.
“I’m fine.”
“You are clearly crying.”
“My daughter called me Dad.”
“I noticed.”
“I need a minute.”
I leaned against the doorframe.
For once, I gave it to him.
Then his phone rang.
He looked at the screen.
Celeste.
He declined it.
She called again.
Then a message appeared.
His expression changed.
“What?”
He showed me.
You have no idea what Nia kept from you. Ask her about Marcus Hale.
I frowned.
“Who is Marcus Hale?”
Luca looked at me.
“You don’t know?”
“No.”
His face became unreadable.
“He was your attorney after the divorce.”
I stared.
“My attorney was Daniel Pierce.”
“Marcus Hale worked at Pierce & Levin.”
“I don’t remember him.”
“He handled the certified correspondence you sent me.”
My stomach tightened.
“What about him?”
May you like
Luca looked at the message again.
“My mother says he was paid too.”
