Chapter 9 - RYAN MOVED OUTI did not throw him out dramatically.
We agreed he should leave.
Temporary apartment.
Supervised contact with Noah initially.
He accepted.
No argument.
That surprised me.
Then he said:
“I don’t trust myself to know what normal is right now.”
That was probably the first truly responsible sentence he had spoken in months.
He entered individual therapy.
Parenting classes.
Not to perform for court only.
At least eventually.
The first weeks, maybe it was partly for court.
People are messy.
Motives can improve after behavior begins.
I did not promise reconciliation.
I told him:
“I don’t know whether our marriage survives.”
He nodded.
“I know.”
Noah asked:
“Daddy gone?”
I said:
“Daddy is sleeping somewhere else while grown-ups work on keeping everyone safe.”
“Daddy bad?”
“No.”
Then I paused.
“Daddy made choices that were not safe.”
Specific.
Not identity.
Noah nodded.
Then:
“Daddy says sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Grandma?”
May you like
“Not yet.”
That answer changed later.
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